Well i’ve had lots of time to think about things recently. Pointless and important and i’ve thought about love, a lot. How i love people, how i get a little psycho and clingy. As if i can help it? I want to hold on to what i’ve got but apparently i “squeeze it till its dead”. Am i the only one with this problem? Am i freak? How do people “control” themselves? Aren’t you supposed to love people for who they are? Why would you go out with me if you don’t really love me? If after a week you can say “I’ve changed my mind.” Okay maybe i can make mistakes but you make me feel so stupid. I don’t know why i still love you. I hate that i love you. I feel stupid. I get angry at everyone at everything. Why can’t i forget you? I’ve been trying so hard. Then i talk to you and you make me feel like shit just by saying hi. I know i can’t ever have you, don’t rub it in. I just hate that. I really do because you mean everything to me. I’d give up everything for you, to be loved by you. I’d go to a good college and get a good job for you and i’m like the girl who hates anything educational. I love you, you stupid fucking idiot. I hate you so much.